What are your relationships like?

Our relationships in life have the potential to lift us up or tear us down like none other. Likely the pandemic has changed your living situation: maybe you've had to move back home, and are cooped up inside with your parents, partner, or family members for countless hours a day. Or maybe the toxicity and pain in your relationships have been around for a while.

While there are many factors that can cause a relationship to turn sour or toxic, at the end of the day, we can - unfortunately - only change ourselves and choose how we react. Toxic relationships can be different for everyone. They don’t always start out toxic, so it can be tricky to identify if you are in an unhealthy relationship.

In order to cope with relational toxicity or a toxic relationship with your parents, partner, or friend, it's first important to know the signs of a toxic relationship

1. Self-centered behavior:  When one puts a priority on their needs over that of another.

2. Physical abuse: Any form of physical abuse.

3. Verbal abuse: Yelling, screaming, name-calling, and blaming are all examples

4. Emotional abuse: One example is giving the other person the silent treatment for hours or even days at a time.

5. Blaming the other person: Making something feel like it’s the other person's fault even if it is not.

6. Manipulation: Going to extremes to manipulate the other person so that he/she always gets what they want.

7. Inability to respect boundaries: An inability to respect boundaries is another sign of a toxic person.

Here are a few ways to help you cope with toxic relationships in a realistic and approachable way:

1. Set healthy boundaries.

You can say "no" - even to your parents, loved ones, or partner. Identify what's worth having conversations about. Know that you don't have to share everything.

2. Find ways to self-soothe.

Make a list of calming, mood-boosting activities that you can turn to.

3. Find support.

Identify the people in your life who you can turn to for help in times of crisis.

4. Talk to a therapist.

A therapist can help you process your feelings and create mental coping strategies. Choosing to end a toxic relationship may be the best thing, though that doesn’t mean it is easy. If you’re thinking about leaving, or have recently left a toxic relationship, the next step in the process is healing.

‍

Here are a few ways to help aid the healing process:

1. Allow yourself to feel your emotions.

Letting go of a relationship isn’t always easy. Allow yourself to be upset and feel your emotions when you need to.

2. Try not to contact the person.

it’s often best to give yourself some time alone and go completely no contact.

3. Don't always expect to have closure.

The closure many survivors need often won’t come from the toxic ex, but from the healing work, they do within themselves.

4. Maintain a strong support system.

Make sure you surround yourself with positive people. A support system can include family, friends, a therapist, support groups, etc.

5. Know that you deserve better.

Let “I deserve better!” become your daily mantra,

6. Focus on self-love and self-care.

Remember to love yourself even on the darkest, most challenging days, because only you can save yourself.

Everyone’s recovery is going to look different, and there’s no right or wrong way to heal and recover.  If you are dealing with issues in a toxic relationship, talking to a therapist can make a big difference in how you feel. If you are in need of one, we at Wellnite are ready to help.

We hope this was helpful.

Follow us on social media for more content around mental health and wellness.