Rene Wiggins, LMSW
October 16, 2023

Post-Adoption Depression: Coping and Seeking Support

The journey of bringing a child into your family through adoption is a profound and joyous occasion. 

However, like any significant life change, it can come with its own set of emotional challenges.

Post-adoption depression, often referred to as post-adoption blues, is a genuine concern that some adoptive parents may encounter along with other feelings of anxiety, stress, and uncertainty. 

In this blog post, we will delve into what post-adoption depression entails, its potential triggers, and most importantly, offer coping strategies and support systems that can be used post adoption and throughout the journey of adoption to assist parents in navigating this emotional journey with resilience and well-being in mind.

Understanding Post-Adoption Depression

Post-adoption depression is similar in many ways to postpartum depression which can be experienced by mothers after giving birth. It is characterized by feelings of sadness, anxiety, fatigue, and a sense of detachment from the adopted child. 

While every parent's experience is unique, post-adoption depression can surface during the initial weeks or months after the adoption process has taken place and one transitions into the parenting role. 

Understanding and recognizing this emotional response is crucial because self-awareness around the thoughts and feelings that are contributing to the post-adoption depression can help you realize when to seek help and support without shame or guilt.

Potential Causes of Post-Adoption Depression

The causes of post-adoption depression can be multifaceted and differ from one parent to another. Some potential contributing factors include:

Unrealistic Expectations:

Adoptive parents may have idealized expectations of immediate bonding and attachment with their adopted child. When reality doesn't match these expectations, it can lead to feelings of disappointment and inadequacy.

Loss and Grief:

Adoption involves profound loss for birth parents, adoptive parents, and the adopted child. These feelings of loss and grief can be overwhelming and may contribute to post-adoption depression.

Adjustment Challenges:

Adapting to the new dynamics and structure of the family can be stressful, particularly if the child has come from a different cultural, religious, or ethnic background or has experienced trauma before adoption.

Coping Strategies for Post-Adoption Depression

While coping with post-adoption depression may feel challenging, it's crucial to remember that seeking support, communicating your feelings openly, and employing healthy coping strategies can make a significant difference in your physical feelings and overall mental well-being. 

Here are some strategies to consider:

Reach Out for Support:

Don't hesitate to talk to friends, family, or other adoptive parents about your feelings. Joining support groups for adoptive parents can provide a safe space to share experiences and find comfort in knowing you are not alone.


Prioritize self-care and make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's reading a book, going for a walk, journaling, or practicing mindfulness exercises that help refocus your thinking, self-care is vital for emotional well-being.

Educate Yourself:

Learn about the potential challenges of adoption and the emotional rollercoaster that many parents experience. Understanding that post-adoption depression is a normal response can help reduce feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame.

Seek Professional Help:

If feelings of sadness, anxiety, or detachment persist, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional experienced in adoption-related issues.

My approach to therapy is rooted in holistic care and helping you understand the thoughts and feelings that drive your emotional responses. I offer a space that is free from any judgment, I invite you to engage in a conversation.


Post-adoption depression is a real and valid emotional response that some adoptive parents may face during their adoption journey. The adoption process is a journey that will create a myriad of feelings and experiences and sometimes all of those feelings and experiences are not necessarily joyful. 

Know that you will be ok, know that you can learn how to manage the feelings that surface in you. Self-awareness with your feelings and the strength to communicate your experiences are essential in your ability to counteract any negative feelings with healthy coping skills. 

Remember that seeking support, practicing self-care, and educating yourself about post-adoption depression can significantly aid in coping and fostering a strong and loving bond with your adopted child.

Embrace the journey; see what growth and insight you can gain from it, and don't hesitate to reach out for help when needed – your well-being matters, and you are not alone.


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P.S.: This blog was created with AI software as a tool to supplement the author, accompanied by Wellnite Staff overview and supervision.
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