How To Deal With Heartbreak & Maybe Become A Songwriter
Updated: Jul 24, 2020
Going through a break up is never fun.
Being heartbroken can sometimes feel like its the end of the world, and the only thing that can potentially make things better is a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.
Talk about eating your feelings (see blog post "When We Eat What We Feel: How We Let Our Emotions Consume Us").
What Is Heartbreak?
Heartbreak is a metaphor often used to describe feelings of intense emotional stress or the pain that one feels because they are profoundly longing for someone or something.
Have you ever experienced heartbreak?
It’s not the best feeling, and I don’t wish it on anyone. However, I also honestly believe that heartbreak is just a part of life and that everyone should experience it in one form or another.
Realize That Heartbreak Is Not Necessarily A Bad Thing
You know all that pain you just went through?
That feeling of “the world is going to end” or that feeling you feel like “you rather die than live another day”?
Yeah, those feeling you have…people write songs about it.
Do you know Taylor Swift? The award-winning country-pop singer/songwriter?
Most of her song was written about her past relationships.
Do you know what else?
She’s even been accused of dating guys just to write a song about it.
It’s the same for Bruno Mars or Ed Sheeran as both have also written songs about their past relationships.
So all that hurt you went through?
Someone wished that they had gone through the same thing. And that someone just happens to be Taylor Swift.
Damn it! Her bests songs came from heartbreak. Ever thought about that?
When you get hurt or go through your next heartbreak, maybe consider an artistic outlet like writing a song, painting your feelings, baking that cake.
Turn that heartbreak into a masterpiece worthy of a Grammy Award.
Because of the hurt and all the pent up pain, you have a story to tell, and its a story that we all go through.
“Heartbreak sucks. But heartbreak isn’t the end of the world.” — Me
How To Deal With Heartbreak & Move On
Feel Whatever It Is You Are Feeling
It’s devastating. You feel lost. Like a part of you has been ripped apart.
If you feel sad, let yourself cry.
If you feel angry, let yourself be upset.
Whatever it is that you are feeling, let yourself feel it to its fullest capacity but temporarily.
When it is all done,o yourself a favor and let yourself move on.
Talk About It With Someone
Many people go through heartbreak. Let’s face it, and it is not just you.
Venting out your hurt and frustrations is a great way to help release all those pent up feelings.
Let yourself express yourself and talk it out with someone. Maybe a friend or a family member. Even a stranger if you are up to it.
I think strangers are the best for it, in my honest opinion.
But also, therapy wouldn't hurt either.
(See blog posts "6 Reasons Why People Seek Therapy, Even Without A Mental Illness" and "The Pros & Cons of Talking To a Therapist vs A Friend")
Let Yourself Move On
Yes, I get it.
It is easier said than done, but trust me when I say that getting hurt is a good thing. It’s a great thing.
Convince yourself that whatever you experienced a lesson.
Think about what you learned from the relationship.
Maybe you learned that you wouldn’t tolerate anyone who fails to remember your birthday. A bit petty, I know.
Maybe you learned that you don’t like cheaters. I never met anyone who did.
Maybe you learned that you don’t want someone who sits around the house watching Netflix all day and night.
Think about it.
You have learned something about yourself while being with this person.
Think about why you were with that person in the first place, why things didn’t work out, and figure out what needs to get down so that you can move on.
Don’t Get Mad At Yourself
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has those days.
It is easy to blame ourselves, and we blame tend to blame ourselves for allowing ourselves to be involved in the other person.
We get resentful.
We feel stupid.
We want to play the victim sometimes.
We start to tell ourselves that we will never make the mistake of opening up to another soul again.
We convince ourselves that we need to build this wall that rivals the Great Wall of China so that no one can come into our lives and make us happy again.
But to be honest, what we are doing is beating ourselves up for making a mistake that probably wasn’t a mistake in the first place. We just label it as a mistake because it hurts.
But ask yourself, “Were they really a mistake?” or “Did it just end because it was time for it to end?”
Think about it, because…
Sometimes Good Things Come To An End
If you allow yourself to believe this, you start to appreciate things that they were (even if it was for a short time) and leave the things that do not serve you anymore.
Learn how to walk away because sometimes staying in a relationship because of its potential can cause more harm to you in the future. The longer you stay, the harder it can be to leave.
If things didn’t work out, remind yourself that it is okay.
But just because it ended doesn’t mean that the relationship was wrong or a mistake.
Remember why you were with that person in the first place.
Maybe they made you happy for a week or two.
Maybe you didn’t want to feel lonely anymore, so you settled for someone.
Maybe they gave you a lot of attention in the beginning and made you feel special.
Maybe they smelled like your grandma’s chocolate chip cookies. If this is the case, you shouldn’t blame yourself because even I don’t know anyone who would turn down chocolate chip cookies — diet or not.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” — Kelly Clarkson
Things may not have ended well, and perhaps that’s why you are heartbroken, but remember heartbreak is “for now” and not “forever.”